Out of Doors

Original Thought. It sure doesn’t happen often but when it does it appears like a dream and hovers like an angelic apparition with iridescent wings. Suspended for a fleeting moment it hangs there waiting for you to claim it. The trick is to not concentrate too hard - for too intense a focus will cause it to vanish before possession occurs. Push it aside “for later” and there is no amount of work you can do to get it back. That fragment of epiphany will remain maddeningly just out of reach.

I’m not referring to those fabulous moments in life when your brain clicks, and you finally understand something you’ve been trying to grasp. I can recall a particular day in high school Algebra class. A concept I could only laboriously work my way through by meticulously following the steps exactly prescribed in the book suddenly made sense to me. I may have even shouted out in class, “Eureka! I’ve got it!!” but I’m not sure; that was so very long ago! Or the instant a young person has a light bulb moment as the individual letters he knows come together and a magical connection turns them into an object he can see in his mind.  A whole new universe of reading just opened up. As fun and amazing as those milestones are, what I am addressing here goes way beyond that. Beyond into a realm that feels other worldly; like you’ve hit on something really special.

Disclaimer

I suppose I should qualify my “original thought” claim with the acknowledgement that it was thus for me, that is, original. Certainly, the world is not about to be blown away with my moment of awakening. But these glimpses of enlightenment are rare and significant in one’s life even if it is but a small step to deeper understanding. Doesn't that make it worth sharing?

The Spark

As they are apt to do, this particular revelatory moment came straight out of the blue. I had just begun reading a new book and was only in the second chapter. It was an easy, gentle story and my brain was definitely in rest mode. My senses abruptly heightened as I read, “...the traveling is good, and I like …being out of doors.” (p. 52; The Bridges of Madison County)

I know, I know! There’s nothing there; no hidden meanings, analogies or earth-shattering information. Just a simple statement. But I couldn’t read any further until this new thought seeded itself in my brain. It was like I had never heard the phrase “out of doors” before. If you know me at all, you know I love being outdoors and that is generally where you will find me in my free time. Furthermore, how many times have I said the very same thing? I do like being out of doors! Original thought?  Aha moment?

Holding the Mist

I carefully allow the page of words to blur as I steady myself to be open to what might drop in. Using my peripheral focus so as not to vaporize whatever this thought might be before I can put words to it, I gently reel it in and hold its misty form. I feel like a biologist trying to blend with his surroundings so as not to startle the timid animal he is striving to study. 

What I heard when I read that phrase was “being OUT of doors”. Like running out of doors or having used up all the doors and now you have none. A different understanding of this common expression begins to form. It wasn’t about being outside. It was all about not being able to shut anything out while also having nothing to close myself in.

In my mind’s eye a picture takes shape. I am opening the last door knowing there will be no more. I was out of doors. Before me is a meadow I can smell the fragrance of its varying shades of green grasses bending and being blown by the wind. With mountains towering in the distance the tiny valley flowers appear even more delicate dressed in their pastels. The sky is large and of the bluest blue. I can only stare and attempt to absorb the awesome view as my mind confirms this is it. I have used up all my doors. There are no more. I have run out of doors.